Hello friends! Today marks my first National Coming Out Day, I have been living my life openly as a trans woman for just around eight months. It was almost exactly eight months ago to the day that I reached self acceptance. My journal says that moment took from February 11-14.
That was a massive week for me. Finally accepting that I could not hide who I am any longer and beginning to work towards being able to like myself. A few weeks later I slowly told the folks around me my deepest truth and my life of the lie evaporated at last. I was free…
What have I gained? The world friends, I have gained the world. I can enjoy my existence again. I can love those around me unconditionally and without envy or personal discomfort. I can love myself. I can look in a mirror and instantly recognize the woman grinning like a twit as being me. I know, trust and inhabit my own body and mind in full now! I have gained the simple pleasures of knowing who I am and being happy in that.
If I have learned anything in these months of transition it is do not run from your fears. Do not hold your feelings in check, suppressed to the point that you have forgotten they were there. Face your fears, whatever they may be. If you don’t it may well kill you but it will certainly detract from your days. We have so few days, don’t we deserve to live them in full? My every moment was once a haunted mess. Now those moments are savored. Every human being deserves that.
Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness right?
The more folks that share with the world how they are not part of the assumed hetero-cis-normative standard the more actual lives will be saved and the richer the human experience will become. If you are LGBTQ, it is okay honey! You can be yourself. People will love you and you can have a life worth living. It is going to be good, trust me, trust yourself. If you are hetero and or cis then please think about the things you say, the narratives you embrace, the culture and standards you uphold. Make space in the world for those of us who haven’t had the good fortune to be born into a world designed for us. Once that space becomes commonplace it won’t be so potentially painful or dangerous to be LGBTQ, it will be so humdrum. The onus is on us all to change ourselves, our assumptions and our society to fit all good people. To judge them “…by the content of their character.” as one civil rights leader once hoped.
This is my first National Coming Out Day as a trans woman, but it will not be my last. Thank you again to everyone who has welcomed me. You have helped make this year what I had always hoped it could be.
And one more thing…TRANS PRIDE!!